Sooner or later we all develop minor or sometimes moderate character flaws, they become a part of who we are. In truth there is no correct answer how one should turn out, you can be stubborn, but determined at the same time, you can be easy-going, and agreeable, but at times lazy, or you can be a perfectionist but your mild OCD is getting you pretty stressed on a daily basis. It really depends on how you are perceived by the others, and how you perceive them. However, these are not problems that prevent us from having a normal everyday life and function properly, they are simply indicators that we should work on ourselves.
Unfortunately, people don’t have identical lives and experiences, and sometimes we are pushed over the edge, which can permanently change how we behave. In other words, there are experiences that cause you to become a drastically different person, and here we will discuss what can be a reason for that to happen.
Childhood abuse and neglect
In a sense, a number of anxieties are rooted in our childhood. Depending on how we grew up we can have low self-esteem, depression, social anxiety, or be outright spoiled, selfish, and cocky. However, if some of these problems are not adequately addressed down the line it can lead to serious mental health issues and even suicidal thoughts. It’s a vicious cycle of self-loathing that makes your everyday life painful. Also, growing up with a certain physical health condition plays a role, and if you go through life always feeling fragile that will reflect in your mental development as well.
Trauma on the other hand can be an isolated event, and if we cannot cope with the outcomes we tend to undergo character changes. A teenager is rarely the same after the early death of a parent, or if they become a victim of a serious crime. A man is never the same after experiencing war etc. In other words, you have been exposed to so much stress at once that it leaves a scar.
Social isolation and discrimination
We have a vision of self, and we also use our community as a mirror. Some people value one over the other, and that can dictate how they behave. The truth is probably somewhere in between and we need both self-validation and validation of others. However, if you grow up while being shunned or discriminated against, or if are simply bullied and don’t feel like you belong, it’s likely to become withdrawn and search for various means of escapism.
These experiences shape your perception of the world and your perception of self. In fact, if one grows up being accused of being a delinquent based on their ethnic group, there is a chance they will adopt that lifestyle. No one wants to go through life clearing their name for no apparent reason, and if they were already labeled as a troublemaker there is not much incentive to steer clear from those life choices.